Dear Abby,
I love writing about you but you keep me far too busy. I can barely find time to shower these days. You just put up a huge fight but you are now calmly snuggled up beside me and soundly sleeping. Have I ever told you how much you hate to have covers over your feet? Well you do.
You are 13 months old already. This is our 2nd May together...when I think of it like that it feels even stranger. Daddy and I can hardly remember what life was like without you. You are getting so big. You won't really sleep in your crib (and I have all but just about given up trying)...but you are getting too big and mobile to safely sleep in our bed. I have been teaching you how to get down safely (on your belly, feet first) and you are starting to understand and you get so excited when you get down almost all by yourself.
Our days mostly start out with you demanding a dog hunt. You sign for dogs first thing when you wake up and have begun to go directly to our pile of shoes by the front door. You will grab yours and whoever else happens to have woken up with you...oh who am I kidding? It is usually daddy who gets out of bed first :)
You love hearing buses go by and will sign for "wipers" when you hear one pass. We went to your Aunt Jackie's graduation a few weeks ago and you got to ride on a school bus for the very first time! You were thrilled. Daddy and I sang the wheels on the bus and bounced you up and down dramatically at every bump. Now in addition to the wipers sign you bounce up and down excitedly whenever you hear or see a bus...we have even added doggies panting to the bus song since you now know how to pant (thanks to a visit from Rosco).
You are starting to say more words...mama, dada, baby (and even pointed one out at Hobbs a few weeks ago), Oma, 'ma (for Grandma), you make a poppop sound, you try to say ball (ba) and home ("hmm" which is especially cute because you don't even open your mouth for that one!) You sign for a lot of things...more, all done (my favorite is when you sign all done when we have only been in the car 5 mins of a 30 min ride!), you sign for birds and obviously dogs. Wipers sign means bus. You love to point and say "eh" when you want to get my attention. Speaking of that- you recently have taken to grabbing our chins and forcefully turning our heads in the direction of what you want us to see...usually a doggie, bus or bird. I swear you said "Joey" the other day when I told you your uncle was coming to visit but then of course you wouldn't say it again! You scream on command- usually for Grandma.
You like to balance things on your feet. It's quite strange I must admit. Not really sure where or why or when this happened but I first noticed you would do it with your cup we use to rinse your hair in the bath tub and you have now expanded and balance not only the cup but bracelets and other toys. You get a huge smile on your face and hold your hands out to the side while actively balancing and I started saying "ta da!"
You also do some yoga moves...mostly just downward dog. We had a playdate over Danny's house and you wanted to get in his crib (?!). He had a really cool mobile that played lots of different songs and you proceeded to stay in there and sway for 20 mins. Of course I had to buy it for you. So now one of your new favorite past times is to dance in your crib! You will play your music and then spin, twirl and fling yourself around your crib giggling and falling and shaking your head around...
I got you some sunglasses and when we tried them on you for the first time you immediately started shaking your head from side to side and smiling as if to show off your new look. You will now do this with almost anything new you try on...including your last bite of French toast the other day. You placed a piece on top of your head and started smiling and showing off your new look and I started laughing so hard that I had to hide my face while daddy informed you that it wasn't appropriate to put food on your head.
You nod at everything now. One of my favorite things to do with you is to tell daddy about our day when he gets home. I'll say "did you tell daddy that we went to the park today?" And you will beam and nod in agreement. I'll go on to say "and did you tell him how you went on the swing with Danny?" More nods. "And how you put all the wood chips all over the slide?" Nods and nods all around. The best part is I know you understand these "conversations" and that amazes me.
I sometimes feel a little crazy when talking to you. Like that time in Target when you threw your first temper tantrum. I explained that if you didn't hold my hand then we would have to leave and you kept swatting my hand away. Strangers looked at me like I was insane but I know you understood my words. Maybe not the consequences (we will have to leave) but you were definitely choosing not to hold my hand. You were so tired that day. We left and you were asleep within 5 minutes once we were home.
Your eating habits are starting to become pretty picky. You love bread especially at our new hang out- Miss Marty's. It is a Jewish diner and the old ladies love you there. We are becoming regulars. You always order the same thing- wheat toast with butter. Cut into squares so you can have one square for each hand. You start munching and turn sideways in your high chair to watch all the action- the waitresses carrying trays of food and drinks always stopping to give you a smile or a wave. The bus boys clearing away the dishes. The older clientele using their walkers to make their way to the bathroom. Before I became your mom I would rarely (if ever!) go to a place like that and eat lunch by myself...and if I did I would rush through my lunch feeling self conscious about being there alone. Now, ironically, I am rushing through eating but spending more time connecting with those around us. In this technological world where everyone spends all day staring at their phones, it is a breath of fresh air to have you there to remind me to stop and smell the roses...
Which by the way you love to do. I have your squeal of joy forever in my memory from the day you spotted the flower display at the co-op. You ran over to the flowers and just smiled, closed your eyes and started smelling them. Moments like that make my heart feel so full it might burst.
You are an amazing, bright, happy and energetic little girl. You pick up on things so quickly. You just signed "cereal" to me the other day when I asked what you wanted to eat...I had never even done that sign with you! The only time you had ever seen it would have been while watching a baby signing video when you were 10 months old.
I love snuggling up to you and cuddling with you while you sleep. The way you curl your legs up on my belly. The way you reach your arms up to grab onto mine. Your even, calm, sleepy breathing pattern. The way your head gets nestled into my chest. You are always wiggling around anymore and wanting to jump out of my arms and explore when you are awake...but when you are sleeping beside me (like you are right now) I feel like there is no where in the world either of us would rather be. I know it won't always be like this so I am trying to treasure and savor these moments with you. You are growing up so fast and I can hardly believe my little baby is already 1, already running and navigating stairs and language and playground equipment. Please just stop it already! Just stay right here with me...in this moment forever.
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Friday, March 20, 2015
Spring Forward
Dear Abby,
Tomorrow you will be 11 months old (?!?!?!!!) and today is the first day of Spring (nevermind that it snowed all day!). I have been wanting to write you another letter for a while now. I keep starting it over and over in my head but it never seems to make it on to this blog. There's just too many dishes to do, too many loads of laundry and too many middle-of-the-night nursing sessions to stay on top of it all (but with daddy's help we are making some progress on this last issue aren't we?).
Your hair...is getting thicker. And "is it red? Where does that red come from?" If I had a penny for every time someone asked me this we'd be off to a great start for your college fund. We brush your hair every night after your bath and sometimes I have even been able to spike it into a wimpy mohawk! It is still pretty sparse but I am in no rush for your (sure-to-be-unruly) mane to come in. I can barely do my own hair so the thought of doing someone else's isn't all that appealing anyway...no rush!
Your eyes...are so blue. Out of the entire world only 17% of people have blue eyes are you are one of them...how cool is that? You can thank your mother's Irish heritage for that one for sure. Your shining, smiling, crystal blue eyes get you compliments all day long. No matter where we go at least one stranger has to stop and comment on what beautiful eyes you have. They are not only beautiful but extremely sharp. You can spot birds and planes so high in the sky...you will point and go "eh, eh" as if to ask us what it is and won't be satisfied until we give a proper answer...
Your smile....simply lights up the room. It is usually accompanied by a "heh" sound on your part that Grandma refers to as your sarcastic "Sheldon laugh". So far you only really have 2 lower teeth (that you "brush" every night after your bath)...but Oma just noticed that your 2 top teeth are threatening to break out any day now. I am thankful that you use your teeth mostly to chew up food and not for biting; and am hopeful that this trend will continue. I can barely remember a day when you didn't have your 2 little teeth and I can barely fathom a day when you will have a full mouth of teeth. Right now I only want you to ever have these 2 because I just can't imagine your smile any other way! Last night I realized you have your dad's smile...
Your laugh...is contagious. Daddy and I started squawking like chickens the other day (don't ask why...sleep deprivation does crazy things) but you thought it hilarious which just further encouraged us to keep going! Daddy even threw in some pretty impressive arm motions and "pecked" at your arms and your belly sending you into hysterics. I have to say that I have only recently discovered your father's talent for imitating animal sounds and it has certainly come in handy at entertaining you :) His owl sound is pretty spot on. Speaking of noises...you farted in the tub yesterday (I'm sorry future embarrassed teenage Abigail but this is too good not to share) and you were so surprised by the bubbles you made and the noise that you just kept trying to do it again and again (farting that is) and laughing hysterically all the while. I think you are going to be a jokester, just like your dad.
Your hands...are oh so busy. Whether they are climbing up an imaginary water spout playing itsy bitsy spider, swishing back and forth as the wipers on the bus, or thumping your chest excitedly signing for doggy...they are always moving and exploring the world (and all its germs) around you. No one would ever know what a germaphobe I am...that is until you start "washing your hands" mocking me many times a day. You are learning sign language and have started signing confidently for "more," "milk" and "all done". You are certainly not being shy when you want more of something...especially "swinging" at the park! Oma told me that every time she tried to get you out of the swing you would sign more until she gave you another big push! One recent morning after I sent out invitations for your first birthday party I told you while changing your diaper that you were going to be "1" next month...I showed you how to hold up your finger to say you are one and ever since then you are sharing this exciting news with everyone! It is adorable and I cannot believe how fast you picked it up.
Your feet...are these cute little chubs that I can barely squeeze into your miniature sneakers...which you actually need because you are walking (practically running) everywhere. You even "walk" up steps (with help) and alternate legs. It is so cute watching you throw your one leg up to the next step (which is practically as high as your knee). You will still hold at least one of my hands, especially when we are walking outside or in daddy's favorite store (Costco) but I am sure the day is growing near when you will simply take off on your own full speed ahead. Maybe a baby leash would be a good present for you on your first birthday?
Your belly...is so round that we have to press it in some so you can see around to your belly button - a newfound body part that you seem to be enthralled with. As soon as we mention belly button not only do you want to see yours but everyone elses' too...this makes for potentially awkward situations.
Your cheeks...are so rosy. Maybe you are getting some sunburn from all this recent outdoor activity? I am so happy that the weather is warming up a little and we've been able to get out of the house. Now when I say we are going "out" instead of screaming the entire time while I try to dress you and get you ready you are actually excited at the wondrous possibility of what we might be doing that day...the park? the aquarium? the grocery store??? You will even start heading for the door to get your coat and your shoes! You will make a pretty good attempt at getting your own shoes and socks on but so far you are only successful in taking those things off without help :)
Your ears...are so sensitive to every single tiny creaking sound in our house (and our house is old and noisy). You hear everything. When a sound is particularly annoying (the vacuum, coffee grinder, unloading the dishwasher, the Caulfield's incessant banter...) you will cover your ears in protest (we can thank your Grandma for showing you this). You understand lots too. I am tempted to list all of the words you understand but this could make for an excessively long blog entry...maybe I'll just list a few: downstairs, doggy (insert bilateral chest thumping here), music, dance, giraffe/pony (which will prompt almost immediate head bobbing), breakfast/lunch/dinner (immediate lip smacking), cheerios (flailing of all extremities- what do they put in those things??), outside (gee- where are my shoes and my coat?), fish (swimming hand gestures), Abby's flying fairy school (pure elation), etc etc etc. You are starting to mimic even if it is nonsensical. Last week Grandma came over and you spotted a bright red cardinal on the tree just outside your playroom. That prompted us to all go outside and look for birds. Grandma chanted "birds! where are you?" to which you almost seemed to yell in a similar tone of voice. We then went knocking on the 2 birdhouses out back...which you now want to do every day.
So but basically what I wanted to tell you is that you are becoming a lovely little lady :) There was one day (geez is it already about 2 months ago now?) that I came home from work in the morning and Pop Pop was watching you...you were so excited to see me and I scooped you up and you just suddenly felt so big to me! It was as if overnight you have morphed into a child instead of a cuddly little baby...just the way you helped me lift you up by supporting your body weight and then just wrapped yourself around me like a little monkey. You probably won't understand what I mean by this until you have a child of your own someday (in the extremely far off distant future) but it was one of those milestone feelings that will most likely stick with me forever...
Love you sweet girl,
Mommy
Tomorrow you will be 11 months old (?!?!?!!!) and today is the first day of Spring (nevermind that it snowed all day!). I have been wanting to write you another letter for a while now. I keep starting it over and over in my head but it never seems to make it on to this blog. There's just too many dishes to do, too many loads of laundry and too many middle-of-the-night nursing sessions to stay on top of it all (but with daddy's help we are making some progress on this last issue aren't we?).
Your hair...is getting thicker. And "is it red? Where does that red come from?" If I had a penny for every time someone asked me this we'd be off to a great start for your college fund. We brush your hair every night after your bath and sometimes I have even been able to spike it into a wimpy mohawk! It is still pretty sparse but I am in no rush for your (sure-to-be-unruly) mane to come in. I can barely do my own hair so the thought of doing someone else's isn't all that appealing anyway...no rush!
Your eyes...are so blue. Out of the entire world only 17% of people have blue eyes are you are one of them...how cool is that? You can thank your mother's Irish heritage for that one for sure. Your shining, smiling, crystal blue eyes get you compliments all day long. No matter where we go at least one stranger has to stop and comment on what beautiful eyes you have. They are not only beautiful but extremely sharp. You can spot birds and planes so high in the sky...you will point and go "eh, eh" as if to ask us what it is and won't be satisfied until we give a proper answer...
Your smile....simply lights up the room. It is usually accompanied by a "heh" sound on your part that Grandma refers to as your sarcastic "Sheldon laugh". So far you only really have 2 lower teeth (that you "brush" every night after your bath)...but Oma just noticed that your 2 top teeth are threatening to break out any day now. I am thankful that you use your teeth mostly to chew up food and not for biting; and am hopeful that this trend will continue. I can barely remember a day when you didn't have your 2 little teeth and I can barely fathom a day when you will have a full mouth of teeth. Right now I only want you to ever have these 2 because I just can't imagine your smile any other way! Last night I realized you have your dad's smile...
Your laugh...is contagious. Daddy and I started squawking like chickens the other day (don't ask why...sleep deprivation does crazy things) but you thought it hilarious which just further encouraged us to keep going! Daddy even threw in some pretty impressive arm motions and "pecked" at your arms and your belly sending you into hysterics. I have to say that I have only recently discovered your father's talent for imitating animal sounds and it has certainly come in handy at entertaining you :) His owl sound is pretty spot on. Speaking of noises...you farted in the tub yesterday (I'm sorry future embarrassed teenage Abigail but this is too good not to share) and you were so surprised by the bubbles you made and the noise that you just kept trying to do it again and again (farting that is) and laughing hysterically all the while. I think you are going to be a jokester, just like your dad.
Your hands...are oh so busy. Whether they are climbing up an imaginary water spout playing itsy bitsy spider, swishing back and forth as the wipers on the bus, or thumping your chest excitedly signing for doggy...they are always moving and exploring the world (and all its germs) around you. No one would ever know what a germaphobe I am...that is until you start "washing your hands" mocking me many times a day. You are learning sign language and have started signing confidently for "more," "milk" and "all done". You are certainly not being shy when you want more of something...especially "swinging" at the park! Oma told me that every time she tried to get you out of the swing you would sign more until she gave you another big push! One recent morning after I sent out invitations for your first birthday party I told you while changing your diaper that you were going to be "1" next month...I showed you how to hold up your finger to say you are one and ever since then you are sharing this exciting news with everyone! It is adorable and I cannot believe how fast you picked it up.
Your feet...are these cute little chubs that I can barely squeeze into your miniature sneakers...which you actually need because you are walking (practically running) everywhere. You even "walk" up steps (with help) and alternate legs. It is so cute watching you throw your one leg up to the next step (which is practically as high as your knee). You will still hold at least one of my hands, especially when we are walking outside or in daddy's favorite store (Costco) but I am sure the day is growing near when you will simply take off on your own full speed ahead. Maybe a baby leash would be a good present for you on your first birthday?
Your belly...is so round that we have to press it in some so you can see around to your belly button - a newfound body part that you seem to be enthralled with. As soon as we mention belly button not only do you want to see yours but everyone elses' too...this makes for potentially awkward situations.
Your cheeks...are so rosy. Maybe you are getting some sunburn from all this recent outdoor activity? I am so happy that the weather is warming up a little and we've been able to get out of the house. Now when I say we are going "out" instead of screaming the entire time while I try to dress you and get you ready you are actually excited at the wondrous possibility of what we might be doing that day...the park? the aquarium? the grocery store??? You will even start heading for the door to get your coat and your shoes! You will make a pretty good attempt at getting your own shoes and socks on but so far you are only successful in taking those things off without help :)
Your ears...are so sensitive to every single tiny creaking sound in our house (and our house is old and noisy). You hear everything. When a sound is particularly annoying (the vacuum, coffee grinder, unloading the dishwasher, the Caulfield's incessant banter...) you will cover your ears in protest (we can thank your Grandma for showing you this). You understand lots too. I am tempted to list all of the words you understand but this could make for an excessively long blog entry...maybe I'll just list a few: downstairs, doggy (insert bilateral chest thumping here), music, dance, giraffe/pony (which will prompt almost immediate head bobbing), breakfast/lunch/dinner (immediate lip smacking), cheerios (flailing of all extremities- what do they put in those things??), outside (gee- where are my shoes and my coat?), fish (swimming hand gestures), Abby's flying fairy school (pure elation), etc etc etc. You are starting to mimic even if it is nonsensical. Last week Grandma came over and you spotted a bright red cardinal on the tree just outside your playroom. That prompted us to all go outside and look for birds. Grandma chanted "birds! where are you?" to which you almost seemed to yell in a similar tone of voice. We then went knocking on the 2 birdhouses out back...which you now want to do every day.
So but basically what I wanted to tell you is that you are becoming a lovely little lady :) There was one day (geez is it already about 2 months ago now?) that I came home from work in the morning and Pop Pop was watching you...you were so excited to see me and I scooped you up and you just suddenly felt so big to me! It was as if overnight you have morphed into a child instead of a cuddly little baby...just the way you helped me lift you up by supporting your body weight and then just wrapped yourself around me like a little monkey. You probably won't understand what I mean by this until you have a child of your own someday (in the extremely far off distant future) but it was one of those milestone feelings that will most likely stick with me forever...
Love you sweet girl,
Mommy
And she's off!
Dear Abby,
You are 9.5 months old and walking! You've been getting more and more daring this week with distances. At first you would only take steps toward a person but now you are starting to take a few steps between objects too (like the couch and your piano exersaucer). The other day we played a game where I would entice you to walk towards me and then once you started I would start backing up so you had to walk farther and farther...you just giggled and giggled over it :) Then I watched you just absolutely beam at yourself in the mirror at the realization that you were standing there without holding onto anything! When I tried to recreate that for daddy you weren't quite as excited. You still seem to get nervous whenever I let go of you and look at me a bunch of times for reassurance with your arms outstretched for balance...and then you smile when you decide that you can do it :)
I am simply amazed at how brilliant you are (I'm sure every parent thinks their baby is the smartest but with you it is actually true! haha). I think this week especially I am noticing just how much you understand...you know so many words! You know about the train and you wave bye bye to it all day long (yes, All. Day. Long). You will stop what you are doing (no matter what it is you are doing) and will wave to the train.
The other night you were really not wanting to go to bed (nothing new there)...you were standing up while nursing and climbing all over me. Clapping your hands, stomping your feet, etc. Finally I said, "do you want to go back downstairs?" and your eyes just lit up at the possibility and you started going 'eh, eh' as in, 'yeah ma, let's go!'...
You are 9.5 months old and walking! You've been getting more and more daring this week with distances. At first you would only take steps toward a person but now you are starting to take a few steps between objects too (like the couch and your piano exersaucer). The other day we played a game where I would entice you to walk towards me and then once you started I would start backing up so you had to walk farther and farther...you just giggled and giggled over it :) Then I watched you just absolutely beam at yourself in the mirror at the realization that you were standing there without holding onto anything! When I tried to recreate that for daddy you weren't quite as excited. You still seem to get nervous whenever I let go of you and look at me a bunch of times for reassurance with your arms outstretched for balance...and then you smile when you decide that you can do it :)
I am simply amazed at how brilliant you are (I'm sure every parent thinks their baby is the smartest but with you it is actually true! haha). I think this week especially I am noticing just how much you understand...you know so many words! You know about the train and you wave bye bye to it all day long (yes, All. Day. Long). You will stop what you are doing (no matter what it is you are doing) and will wave to the train.
The other night you were really not wanting to go to bed (nothing new there)...you were standing up while nursing and climbing all over me. Clapping your hands, stomping your feet, etc. Finally I said, "do you want to go back downstairs?" and your eyes just lit up at the possibility and you started going 'eh, eh' as in, 'yeah ma, let's go!'...
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Tiny Dancer
Dear Abby,
You are growing by leaps and bounds. You've been taking your first steps and collapsing into me with a look of such sheer joy on your face that I can't even put it into words. You are absolutely thrilled with yourself- and you should be! You are barely 9 months and practically walking. You go girl! You are so excited about learning to stand in fact, that you want to do it all the time. Including when you are (or should be) sleeping. You will be half asleep in bed nursing when the mood strikes and you will simply prop yourself up to a standing position and then smile at me from ear to ear. And then if I'm lucky you may even start dancing. But who could be annoyed at being woken up after seeing that beautiful grin? I must say the sleep deprivation you are causing me is taking its toll...coffee has become my best friend. And yours. Daddy has gotten in the habit of letting you "share" his cup and now I have no choice but to let you "sip" mine as well. We just got a new TV in your playroom and have been letting you listen to Pandora. Now whenever we say "music" you look toward the TV and instinctively start "dancing". You are seriously too cute for words.
Speaking of that let me tell you just how smart you are :) You know how to bounce, jump and dance. Never mind that all three of those actions when carried out by you look exactly the same. You can clap your hands (that's old news) and shake things on command. You know how to give a high 5 but you like to take our hands in yours after that and start clapping them for us. I am trying to teach you to stomp your feet...we'll get there. You will (sort of) throw a ball back and forth although when you do it it seems more like you just want to appease me and move on to something better than actually playing with the ball. I don't blame you...I was never much into sports. More of a dancer myself as well! You still love a good game of peek a boo. That one never gets old- especially if you are anywhere in the vicinity of a curtain. You will kick a ball around the room. You know how to turn on and off light switches. You know what the train is and every time you hear it you look for it and then wave. You know how to wave hello and good bye although you prefer to do it after the person looks away- I think just to make me look like an idiot!
You know all your grandparents by name and when I say that one of them is coming over your eyes light up and you look towards the door. After all, you'd give almost anything to get a break from me sometimes! You know how to splash and you love sucking on washcloths. I thought it was just wet ones but yesterday you couldn't wait to get a dry wash cloth out of my freshly folded pile and into your mouth. Pretty much everything goes into your mouth -unless of course it is actual food I want you to eat in which case you will seriously scrutinize it and then probably pass it up. I made you a batch of super healthy muffins that tasted terrible but then dad reminded me that you love to eat cardboard so I let you try one...I think you touched it but it didn't make it anywhere close to your mouth. Of course!
You are becoming super clingy. If it's just us you do not want me out of your sight. In fact you will start crying if I am simply 2 steps away from you. This is becoming a real challenge. I keep trying to remind myself that come your teenage years you will be begging me to leave you alone so I should probably savor these clingy moments. That however still doesn't help me when nature calls or when I need to shower. Lately I have had to wait until you are in bed for the night to take a shower and if I'm being totally honest this week only twice has a shower trumped sleep. These are the choices I am resorting to making these days.
You are really becoming a stinker when it comes to bedtime. Dad and I have had a rough week trying to put you to bed. We think they should make a baby version of our Westin Heavenly mattress because that is your preferred sleeping surface. Of course right now you are in your crib but only because dad and I spent at least 3 hours cumulative time coercing you to go in. And even then I had to wait until you were fast asleep before getting you in there. And now I am writing this waiting for you to wake up instead of getting some much needed sleep. I can't relax because you hardly ever sleep but then when you do sleep I can't relax either because surely the second I close my eyes you will surely wake up! In fact I think I hear you right now...
You are growing by leaps and bounds. You've been taking your first steps and collapsing into me with a look of such sheer joy on your face that I can't even put it into words. You are absolutely thrilled with yourself- and you should be! You are barely 9 months and practically walking. You go girl! You are so excited about learning to stand in fact, that you want to do it all the time. Including when you are (or should be) sleeping. You will be half asleep in bed nursing when the mood strikes and you will simply prop yourself up to a standing position and then smile at me from ear to ear. And then if I'm lucky you may even start dancing. But who could be annoyed at being woken up after seeing that beautiful grin? I must say the sleep deprivation you are causing me is taking its toll...coffee has become my best friend. And yours. Daddy has gotten in the habit of letting you "share" his cup and now I have no choice but to let you "sip" mine as well. We just got a new TV in your playroom and have been letting you listen to Pandora. Now whenever we say "music" you look toward the TV and instinctively start "dancing". You are seriously too cute for words.
Speaking of that let me tell you just how smart you are :) You know how to bounce, jump and dance. Never mind that all three of those actions when carried out by you look exactly the same. You can clap your hands (that's old news) and shake things on command. You know how to give a high 5 but you like to take our hands in yours after that and start clapping them for us. I am trying to teach you to stomp your feet...we'll get there. You will (sort of) throw a ball back and forth although when you do it it seems more like you just want to appease me and move on to something better than actually playing with the ball. I don't blame you...I was never much into sports. More of a dancer myself as well! You still love a good game of peek a boo. That one never gets old- especially if you are anywhere in the vicinity of a curtain. You will kick a ball around the room. You know how to turn on and off light switches. You know what the train is and every time you hear it you look for it and then wave. You know how to wave hello and good bye although you prefer to do it after the person looks away- I think just to make me look like an idiot!
You know all your grandparents by name and when I say that one of them is coming over your eyes light up and you look towards the door. After all, you'd give almost anything to get a break from me sometimes! You know how to splash and you love sucking on washcloths. I thought it was just wet ones but yesterday you couldn't wait to get a dry wash cloth out of my freshly folded pile and into your mouth. Pretty much everything goes into your mouth -unless of course it is actual food I want you to eat in which case you will seriously scrutinize it and then probably pass it up. I made you a batch of super healthy muffins that tasted terrible but then dad reminded me that you love to eat cardboard so I let you try one...I think you touched it but it didn't make it anywhere close to your mouth. Of course!
You are becoming super clingy. If it's just us you do not want me out of your sight. In fact you will start crying if I am simply 2 steps away from you. This is becoming a real challenge. I keep trying to remind myself that come your teenage years you will be begging me to leave you alone so I should probably savor these clingy moments. That however still doesn't help me when nature calls or when I need to shower. Lately I have had to wait until you are in bed for the night to take a shower and if I'm being totally honest this week only twice has a shower trumped sleep. These are the choices I am resorting to making these days.
You are really becoming a stinker when it comes to bedtime. Dad and I have had a rough week trying to put you to bed. We think they should make a baby version of our Westin Heavenly mattress because that is your preferred sleeping surface. Of course right now you are in your crib but only because dad and I spent at least 3 hours cumulative time coercing you to go in. And even then I had to wait until you were fast asleep before getting you in there. And now I am writing this waiting for you to wake up instead of getting some much needed sleep. I can't relax because you hardly ever sleep but then when you do sleep I can't relax either because surely the second I close my eyes you will surely wake up! In fact I think I hear you right now...
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Dear Abby,
Dear Abby,
It is hard to find the words to describe how amazing it is to be your mom. But I will try.
We went to a holiday party tonight and you pulled yourself up to a standing position all by yourself. You knew this was a big first and you turned to find me. When we locked eyes you started beaming :) and my heart skipped a few beats and my chest filled up so much with happiness that I almost couldn't breathe. It's like our little secret. It's like sharing a knowing glance with an old dear friend from across the room. This is my life now. Celebrating your little firsts with you all day every day and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Your world is so small and yet so expansive. I love watching you explore your surroundings. Last week you learned how to wave. This week you are waving at all of the pictures in our house. You feel for my hands and pull yourself up dragging me and my poor aching back all around the house. One of your favorite stops is the bathroom...YOUR bathroom where you are inevitably looking for your bath toys but along the way will spot yourself in the mirror and can never resist so much as a smile...
That smile. The one that seemed to take forever to grace your lips but continues to melt my heart every.single.time.
Time. Stands still. And yet flies by. But mostly warps. The days melt into each other and before I know it months have gone by. You were my spring baby and now it is literally in a minute's time the winter solstice. How on earth did that happen?
You happen to be asleep on daddy's side of the bed right now. Your new favorite position is face down on our bed. And only our bed, definitely not your crib. The other night you were sound asleep and I thought I would try you in your crib again. I had just flipped your mattress over to the softer, "toddler" side and even made it with a snuggly chamois sheet from Pottery Barn to further entice you...but as soon as you so much as entered the crib vicinity you started stirring and when I laid you down you popped your bleary tired eyes open and darted them around to assess where you were. You saw the bars and your mobile and a look of sheer terror crossed your face with a wail to match. Your back no sooner touched down that I picked you back up.
"Up, up, up"...you definitely want to be up. From the moment you wake up in the morning -even if daddy and I are both still too tired to get you out of bed- you would much rather be sitting up in bed than laying down. Sitting up, or better yet, standing up is where it's at and that's where you want to be. One of your favorite places is your DJ booth (as Aunt Jul calls it) where you can stand all by yourself and spin the ABCs and the 123s like it's nobody's business.
You are a busy girl. From sunrise to sunset you are on the go. Except for after a bath. That is my favorite time with you these days. After a bath I wrap you in a big towel and carry you into your room. Before laying you down on your changing table (aka torture chamber) to dress you, we snuggle in the glider while you nurse. It doesn't matter if you just ate before your bath you always want to nurse as soon as you are out of the tub. And lately you prefer to nurse sitting up - with some breaks for waving and clapping of the hands of course. You especially like to wave at the turtle picture in your room. And you like to try to bite on the arm rests of the chair (I wish daddy had used some nontoxic nursery paint instead of spray paint!). But you always circle back to nursing. I ask "all done"? And you smack your head back into me to let me know that you most certainly are not.
You are not a fan of being spoon fed. You want that spoon. Even if it is to just grab the contents of it and smear it all over everything in your reach except for your mouth. You will decide and that is that. We've moved on beyond the purees and have been giving you bigger pieces of food. Today you had a latke that 4 people prepared for you...you dipped it in homemade apple sauce and tore it apart,"nom nom nom'ing" it until a thousand little slivers of potato covered you from head to toe.
Those toes. Grandma had to give you another bath but none of us minded that. Nothing better than a half naked baby barreling down the hall towards the bath. Unless of course that half naked baby is mine and happens to be covered in bits of potato and applesauce and holding my hands with sticky fingers with a steady stream of drool dribbling from those precious pink lips that you can't stop smacking as you get used to your 2 tiny new teeth...
As I said: this is my life now and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
It is hard to find the words to describe how amazing it is to be your mom. But I will try.
We went to a holiday party tonight and you pulled yourself up to a standing position all by yourself. You knew this was a big first and you turned to find me. When we locked eyes you started beaming :) and my heart skipped a few beats and my chest filled up so much with happiness that I almost couldn't breathe. It's like our little secret. It's like sharing a knowing glance with an old dear friend from across the room. This is my life now. Celebrating your little firsts with you all day every day and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Your world is so small and yet so expansive. I love watching you explore your surroundings. Last week you learned how to wave. This week you are waving at all of the pictures in our house. You feel for my hands and pull yourself up dragging me and my poor aching back all around the house. One of your favorite stops is the bathroom...YOUR bathroom where you are inevitably looking for your bath toys but along the way will spot yourself in the mirror and can never resist so much as a smile...
That smile. The one that seemed to take forever to grace your lips but continues to melt my heart every.single.time.
Time. Stands still. And yet flies by. But mostly warps. The days melt into each other and before I know it months have gone by. You were my spring baby and now it is literally in a minute's time the winter solstice. How on earth did that happen?
You happen to be asleep on daddy's side of the bed right now. Your new favorite position is face down on our bed. And only our bed, definitely not your crib. The other night you were sound asleep and I thought I would try you in your crib again. I had just flipped your mattress over to the softer, "toddler" side and even made it with a snuggly chamois sheet from Pottery Barn to further entice you...but as soon as you so much as entered the crib vicinity you started stirring and when I laid you down you popped your bleary tired eyes open and darted them around to assess where you were. You saw the bars and your mobile and a look of sheer terror crossed your face with a wail to match. Your back no sooner touched down that I picked you back up.
"Up, up, up"...you definitely want to be up. From the moment you wake up in the morning -even if daddy and I are both still too tired to get you out of bed- you would much rather be sitting up in bed than laying down. Sitting up, or better yet, standing up is where it's at and that's where you want to be. One of your favorite places is your DJ booth (as Aunt Jul calls it) where you can stand all by yourself and spin the ABCs and the 123s like it's nobody's business.
You are a busy girl. From sunrise to sunset you are on the go. Except for after a bath. That is my favorite time with you these days. After a bath I wrap you in a big towel and carry you into your room. Before laying you down on your changing table (aka torture chamber) to dress you, we snuggle in the glider while you nurse. It doesn't matter if you just ate before your bath you always want to nurse as soon as you are out of the tub. And lately you prefer to nurse sitting up - with some breaks for waving and clapping of the hands of course. You especially like to wave at the turtle picture in your room. And you like to try to bite on the arm rests of the chair (I wish daddy had used some nontoxic nursery paint instead of spray paint!). But you always circle back to nursing. I ask "all done"? And you smack your head back into me to let me know that you most certainly are not.
You are not a fan of being spoon fed. You want that spoon. Even if it is to just grab the contents of it and smear it all over everything in your reach except for your mouth. You will decide and that is that. We've moved on beyond the purees and have been giving you bigger pieces of food. Today you had a latke that 4 people prepared for you...you dipped it in homemade apple sauce and tore it apart,"nom nom nom'ing" it until a thousand little slivers of potato covered you from head to toe.
Those toes. Grandma had to give you another bath but none of us minded that. Nothing better than a half naked baby barreling down the hall towards the bath. Unless of course that half naked baby is mine and happens to be covered in bits of potato and applesauce and holding my hands with sticky fingers with a steady stream of drool dribbling from those precious pink lips that you can't stop smacking as you get used to your 2 tiny new teeth...
As I said: this is my life now and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Reflecting on Abigail's Grand Entrance to this World...
And then we embarked on our biggest adventure yet...
We had a great dinner at my parents on Easter Sunday, April 20th. My mom made roasted chicken at my request- even though she was already making baked ziti for everyone else. (Being pregnant definitely had some perks!). Dinner was delicious...nothing like a home cooked meal...Afterwards we all opened our Easter baskets and gorged on Easter candy in the living room...mostly Cadbury mini eggs for me :) Brian got lots of dark chocolate goodies and a good time was had by all.
As one can imagine, by the end of the evening (being 38 weeks pregnant) my stomach was uncomfortably full...TUMS to the rescue, or so I thought. I laid semi-upright in bed when we got home for quite a while...long after Brian was snoring beside me. I even took an extra dose without it really letting up. Was this more than just heartburn? Baby G was squirming around as I shifted to get comfortable while reading on my iPhone about all the horrible complications of pre-eclampsia (which I had been recently diagnosed). I read about how sometimes the epigastric pain of pre-eclampsia could be misdiagnosed as heartburn. Brian rolled over in his sleep when I checked my blood pressure with the automatic cuff...140/85. A little elevated but not terrible. Sometimes being a hypochondriac can be downright exhausting!
My eyes were burning from staring at my phone. Finally I stopped googling and decided I really needed to get some sleep. I turned off my light and tried to get comfortable - which despite 2 body pillows - was quite a challenge these days. Of course it was when I finally started to drift off to sleep that I had my first contraction. In that moment I just thought it was an "unusually uncomfortable Braxton Hicks contraction"...after all, I'd been having those for weeks now. But then there was another one. And another. I decided I should start keeping track. I counted 6 more in the next hour. It was 5:15 AM. I started wondering if I should wake up Brian...? When a contraction was over I would question whether I really had one at all or whether it was just in my imagination?? I'd close my eyes and try to fall asleep and then a new (and even more uncomfortable) one would hit me...
I woke up Brian at 5:30 AM and we laid in bed together wondering if this could really be labor?At 6 AM we decided to call the doctor: "Pack a bag, take a shower if you want, don't run any red lights but start making your way here" he instructed. We were in luck- our OB ("Dr. Garrison*" who we'd only just met last week) was on-call today starting at 8AM. Brian and I started getting things ready...we took showers. He even made coffee. I packed the red travel bag my mom had given me for Christmas with lots of things I wouldn't use: a notebook (ha!), my own underwear (haha!), makeup (LOL). The contractions were becoming distracting now and I found myself taking an extra long time to get ready.
And just when I thought we were on our way, Brian made me pose for a selfie as we walked out the door:
I was happy to see that the tulips I planted in the fall were almost all in full bloom now...how symbolic :) The sky was clear and the air was crisp but warm enough to get away with my usual sweatshirt (a sherpa-lined one that was a gift from my brother). I was wearing my pregnancy uniform- a grey shirt and my black yoga pants. We got in the car and I switched on the heated seat straight away. Are we going to have a baby today???
On the way to the hospital we listened to the motivational playlist I had created on my phone with memorable tracks from our wedding, spin class and of course the Summer (was it 2011? 12?) classic "Call Me Maybe". Between contractions I found myself singing along (not all that surprising) and Brian even re-enacted the Call Me Maybe craze lip syncing and making calls on his pretend hand-turned-phone. It was a nice scenic drive to the hospital...tress lining the road with fresh new leaves and tight buds ready to bloom. The sky was a clear blue and the sun was shining brightly. We got caught up in the morning commute but didn't mind taking our time. We arrived at the hospital around 7:45 AM and followed another expectant couple inside...
We walked into the maternity unit just as our doctor was swiping in for her shift. She looked surprised but excited to see us (a week earlier than scheduled). They sent us to triage (the same room I was in for monitoring just last Thursday) and Violet, our nurse, seemed a little rough around the edges. She strapped me to the monitor while Brian and I filled her in about the overnight turn of events. Baby G's heart rate was strong in the 140-150s range. My contractions looked like little hills on the graph paper that continuously slid through the printer beside me. My blood pressure was a little high...150/90s. Brian was a little antsy and as usual making me laugh playing with all the equipment he could get his hands on :) Our doctor came in and examined me and found me to be 5 cm! She grabbed the ultrasound machine just to double check that Baby G was still breech and sure enough way up high on my belly were his or her little toes right up by -you guessed it- his or her sweet face..."Looks like you're going to have a baby today" she said..."When?", we asked..."how about, now?" she answered.
A flurry of activity ensued while Violet frantically ran around trying to "get everything done". A chart was generated for our baby (?!!!!), an IV was placed in my right wrist on the second try (ouch!) and they started pumping me up with a ridiculous amount of fluid...Lactated Ringers which Brian chimed in is usually reserved for trauma patients on the ambulance. Thanks babe, that helps! Blood was drawn, urine samples labeled and sent. I was shivering in the paper thin hospital gown, likely from all the cold fluid rushing through my veins. Brian made a few quick calls to let everyone know what was happening and then sprung into action beside me tapping away on his work computer to let his colleagues know he would be out of the office...
And then once everything was done and the deadly penicillin (which I am highly allergic to) re-ordered as clindamycin (thanks to Violet- maybe she wasn't so bad after all?), they led me down the corridor to the cold, sterile OR. All the memories of rushing to deliveries flooded my brain...all the emergency c-sections I've attended in the past. All those times I was not the patient. It felt weird being on the other side. I found it odd that I was walking to the OR...weren't they supposed to push me on a stretcher or something? It felt strangely anti-climatic. I questioned my choice in socks...thin, black ankle socks. What was I thinking? Brian was led to an adjacent waiting room as they brought me over to the narrow OR table and helped me climb up. Dr. Garrison held and rubbed my rounded shoulders and gently instructed me to look down while Arti (the anesthesiologist) got started on my spinal. I watched as soggy tears began to soak through Dr. Garrison's scrubs...she just kept reminding me to breathe and that I'd be meeting my baby soon...even though it wasn't the way I had planned. Her sincerity and compassion struck me and made me cry even more. She knew how much I had wanted a natural delivery and remembered us so clearly even though we had only just met last week. I felt like I had known her for years.
The nurses helped me lay on the table and started hooking me up to all sorts of electronics when we realized I still had my bra on...Dr. Garrison tried (unsuccessfully) to remove it and we all had a good laugh (that Brian and the neonatologist even heard in the next room!). It lightened the heavy, serious atmosphere of the OR. I felt pins and needles rising up from my feet to my hips, then back to my feet and then just felt heavy, weighted. Strange pressure sensations ensued as they began draping and scrubbing...is this what surrender feels like I wondered? Reflecting back on my Bikram yoga days...getting myself into a position that is so uncomfortable and just using my mind and breath to keep myself there. I guess this was a little different being chemically paralyzed and all, but still. Work with me here.
Brian joined me in his all-white "bunny" suit complete with hair cover and mask. As our eyes met I knew we were both thinking the same thing..."is this all really happening?!". He has a way. The tears welled up again. This was definitely going to be an emotional day! Right up there with our wedding day! He held and rubbed my left hand and spoke softly to me as they got started...
I remember feeling chest pain, heaviness, panicky. I kept asking Arti if it was normal. She kept trying to reassure me- even showed me my vital signs on the monitor so I would believe her. My oxygen saturation was perfect at 100%. Why did I feel so awful then? I was shaky, antsy and then all of a sudden there was our baby! They told Brian to stand up to see what we had...he hesitated for a moment and then proudly announced "We have a daughter!"....Really??? A GIRL?!
Seconds later we heard her blood curdling (!!!), ear-piercing (!) cry (that could really only be described as a shriek) that would become the background noise through the rest of my surgery...Brian and I exchanged relieved, yet worried looks (-thankfully her cry would come down a few octaves over the next few days). They quickly came around to show her to me and that moment is forever emblazoned in my mind. Her hands franticly reaching (reaching for me??), her bald(ish) head, her ruddy red skin, her eyes squeezed tightly shut in protest of the fluorescent lights, her wet and wide open mouth letting out the strongest, shrillest cry I think I ever heard! I reached out and touched her warm, damp skin and could hardly believe that she was here- she was real, she was OURS...and she was thankfully, healthy.
*Healthcare workers names have been altered for privacy
We had a great dinner at my parents on Easter Sunday, April 20th. My mom made roasted chicken at my request- even though she was already making baked ziti for everyone else. (Being pregnant definitely had some perks!). Dinner was delicious...nothing like a home cooked meal...Afterwards we all opened our Easter baskets and gorged on Easter candy in the living room...mostly Cadbury mini eggs for me :) Brian got lots of dark chocolate goodies and a good time was had by all.
As one can imagine, by the end of the evening (being 38 weeks pregnant) my stomach was uncomfortably full...TUMS to the rescue, or so I thought. I laid semi-upright in bed when we got home for quite a while...long after Brian was snoring beside me. I even took an extra dose without it really letting up. Was this more than just heartburn? Baby G was squirming around as I shifted to get comfortable while reading on my iPhone about all the horrible complications of pre-eclampsia (which I had been recently diagnosed). I read about how sometimes the epigastric pain of pre-eclampsia could be misdiagnosed as heartburn. Brian rolled over in his sleep when I checked my blood pressure with the automatic cuff...140/85. A little elevated but not terrible. Sometimes being a hypochondriac can be downright exhausting!
My eyes were burning from staring at my phone. Finally I stopped googling and decided I really needed to get some sleep. I turned off my light and tried to get comfortable - which despite 2 body pillows - was quite a challenge these days. Of course it was when I finally started to drift off to sleep that I had my first contraction. In that moment I just thought it was an "unusually uncomfortable Braxton Hicks contraction"...after all, I'd been having those for weeks now. But then there was another one. And another. I decided I should start keeping track. I counted 6 more in the next hour. It was 5:15 AM. I started wondering if I should wake up Brian...? When a contraction was over I would question whether I really had one at all or whether it was just in my imagination?? I'd close my eyes and try to fall asleep and then a new (and even more uncomfortable) one would hit me...
I woke up Brian at 5:30 AM and we laid in bed together wondering if this could really be labor?At 6 AM we decided to call the doctor: "Pack a bag, take a shower if you want, don't run any red lights but start making your way here" he instructed. We were in luck- our OB ("Dr. Garrison*" who we'd only just met last week) was on-call today starting at 8AM. Brian and I started getting things ready...we took showers. He even made coffee. I packed the red travel bag my mom had given me for Christmas with lots of things I wouldn't use: a notebook (ha!), my own underwear (haha!), makeup (LOL). The contractions were becoming distracting now and I found myself taking an extra long time to get ready.
And just when I thought we were on our way, Brian made me pose for a selfie as we walked out the door:
I was happy to see that the tulips I planted in the fall were almost all in full bloom now...how symbolic :) The sky was clear and the air was crisp but warm enough to get away with my usual sweatshirt (a sherpa-lined one that was a gift from my brother). I was wearing my pregnancy uniform- a grey shirt and my black yoga pants. We got in the car and I switched on the heated seat straight away. Are we going to have a baby today???
On the way to the hospital we listened to the motivational playlist I had created on my phone with memorable tracks from our wedding, spin class and of course the Summer (was it 2011? 12?) classic "Call Me Maybe". Between contractions I found myself singing along (not all that surprising) and Brian even re-enacted the Call Me Maybe craze lip syncing and making calls on his pretend hand-turned-phone. It was a nice scenic drive to the hospital...tress lining the road with fresh new leaves and tight buds ready to bloom. The sky was a clear blue and the sun was shining brightly. We got caught up in the morning commute but didn't mind taking our time. We arrived at the hospital around 7:45 AM and followed another expectant couple inside...
We walked into the maternity unit just as our doctor was swiping in for her shift. She looked surprised but excited to see us (a week earlier than scheduled). They sent us to triage (the same room I was in for monitoring just last Thursday) and Violet, our nurse, seemed a little rough around the edges. She strapped me to the monitor while Brian and I filled her in about the overnight turn of events. Baby G's heart rate was strong in the 140-150s range. My contractions looked like little hills on the graph paper that continuously slid through the printer beside me. My blood pressure was a little high...150/90s. Brian was a little antsy and as usual making me laugh playing with all the equipment he could get his hands on :) Our doctor came in and examined me and found me to be 5 cm! She grabbed the ultrasound machine just to double check that Baby G was still breech and sure enough way up high on my belly were his or her little toes right up by -you guessed it- his or her sweet face..."Looks like you're going to have a baby today" she said..."When?", we asked..."how about, now?" she answered.
A flurry of activity ensued while Violet frantically ran around trying to "get everything done". A chart was generated for our baby (?!!!!), an IV was placed in my right wrist on the second try (ouch!) and they started pumping me up with a ridiculous amount of fluid...Lactated Ringers which Brian chimed in is usually reserved for trauma patients on the ambulance. Thanks babe, that helps! Blood was drawn, urine samples labeled and sent. I was shivering in the paper thin hospital gown, likely from all the cold fluid rushing through my veins. Brian made a few quick calls to let everyone know what was happening and then sprung into action beside me tapping away on his work computer to let his colleagues know he would be out of the office...
And then once everything was done and the deadly penicillin (which I am highly allergic to) re-ordered as clindamycin (thanks to Violet- maybe she wasn't so bad after all?), they led me down the corridor to the cold, sterile OR. All the memories of rushing to deliveries flooded my brain...all the emergency c-sections I've attended in the past. All those times I was not the patient. It felt weird being on the other side. I found it odd that I was walking to the OR...weren't they supposed to push me on a stretcher or something? It felt strangely anti-climatic. I questioned my choice in socks...thin, black ankle socks. What was I thinking? Brian was led to an adjacent waiting room as they brought me over to the narrow OR table and helped me climb up. Dr. Garrison held and rubbed my rounded shoulders and gently instructed me to look down while Arti (the anesthesiologist) got started on my spinal. I watched as soggy tears began to soak through Dr. Garrison's scrubs...she just kept reminding me to breathe and that I'd be meeting my baby soon...even though it wasn't the way I had planned. Her sincerity and compassion struck me and made me cry even more. She knew how much I had wanted a natural delivery and remembered us so clearly even though we had only just met last week. I felt like I had known her for years.
The nurses helped me lay on the table and started hooking me up to all sorts of electronics when we realized I still had my bra on...Dr. Garrison tried (unsuccessfully) to remove it and we all had a good laugh (that Brian and the neonatologist even heard in the next room!). It lightened the heavy, serious atmosphere of the OR. I felt pins and needles rising up from my feet to my hips, then back to my feet and then just felt heavy, weighted. Strange pressure sensations ensued as they began draping and scrubbing...is this what surrender feels like I wondered? Reflecting back on my Bikram yoga days...getting myself into a position that is so uncomfortable and just using my mind and breath to keep myself there. I guess this was a little different being chemically paralyzed and all, but still. Work with me here.
Brian joined me in his all-white "bunny" suit complete with hair cover and mask. As our eyes met I knew we were both thinking the same thing..."is this all really happening?!". He has a way. The tears welled up again. This was definitely going to be an emotional day! Right up there with our wedding day! He held and rubbed my left hand and spoke softly to me as they got started...
I remember feeling chest pain, heaviness, panicky. I kept asking Arti if it was normal. She kept trying to reassure me- even showed me my vital signs on the monitor so I would believe her. My oxygen saturation was perfect at 100%. Why did I feel so awful then? I was shaky, antsy and then all of a sudden there was our baby! They told Brian to stand up to see what we had...he hesitated for a moment and then proudly announced "We have a daughter!"....Really??? A GIRL?!
Seconds later we heard her blood curdling (!!!), ear-piercing (!) cry (that could really only be described as a shriek) that would become the background noise through the rest of my surgery...Brian and I exchanged relieved, yet worried looks (-thankfully her cry would come down a few octaves over the next few days). They quickly came around to show her to me and that moment is forever emblazoned in my mind. Her hands franticly reaching (reaching for me??), her bald(ish) head, her ruddy red skin, her eyes squeezed tightly shut in protest of the fluorescent lights, her wet and wide open mouth letting out the strongest, shrillest cry I think I ever heard! I reached out and touched her warm, damp skin and could hardly believe that she was here- she was real, she was OURS...and she was thankfully, healthy.
Baby G screams at mommy:
Then at daddy:
and then finally settles down in my arms for our first family photo!
*Healthcare workers names have been altered for privacy
Friday, April 11, 2014
From Childbirth Education Classes to Bathing with Jellyfish...
As part of our original plans to have a natural and medication free labor and delivery we have attended our fair share of childbirth education classes. I think 8 classes in total. Between Hypnobirthing (a class my friend insisted was how she was able to get through natural childbirth) and the mandatory classes at the birth center I think we're as prepared as we will ever be to bring this little one home in a few weeks! Yesterday at our first appointment with the new doctor, Brian jokingly asked the woman at the check out window if our credits were transferable to the new practice. She didn't get it.
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The group classes at the birth center were where Brian really got to shine. The Breastfeeding class instructor jumbled her words at one point and accidentally said "now ladies, when your partner has to breastfeed your baby...I mean, bottle feed your babies..." and then she looked right at Brian (who had already claimed the title of class clown by this point) and said, "although YOU might just find a way". Brian absolutely couldn't resist and responded with, "Well, I do have nipples"...
He went on to redeem himself through class participation and kindly demonstrated for everyone the correct position for side-lying breastfeeding:
Our last class at the birth center was last night and was bittersweet. The class was full except for the 2 empty seats beside us. "Why doesn't anyone want to sit next to us?" Brian asked...I answered that they must smell the hospital on us after our official transfer of care from the birth center. The class was called "First Days at Home" and was basically all the discharge instructions for parents who were going home with their baby 6-12 hours after birth. Not totally relevant for us anymore but would still be good info to have in the hospital. The goal was to teach us all the warning signs and when you should call the birth center or your pediatrician. I looked around the room and wondered if other babies were breech and they just didn't know it yet? I looked at the different shapes of everyone's bellies and wondered if there were boys or girls in there and whether they knew? I wondered how many of these unsuspecting couples would end up in the hospital just like us...
I wasn't all that into this class, after all I could have taught it! I was really here for Brian. He took my confident attitude as a challenge and began to quiz me from the book..."how many wet diapers should a baby have on the first day". "One", I answered correctly. "Oh yeah, well how about after day 4 when your milk comes in?", "At that point 6-8 per day is considered normal", I again answered correctly. He really thought he was going to stump me with this one: "What should you get plenty of in the first 2 weeks after delivery?", "Rest" I replied and at that we both started laughing hysterically. Rest is definitely not anything we actually expect to get after having a new baby at home!
The class was worthwhile, even for us hospital-birthers. Most people acted totally uninterested or completely shocked by the graphic nature of the information presented. Many sat there looking at their cell phones instead of the instructor. I was annoyed for her...this was important info and they most certainly were going to be wishing they had paid more attention when they get home with that baby! We learned what the baby's poop will look like and how it changes over the first week of life- complete with photos. Among other pleasantries such as how to use a peri-bottle and why stocking up on stool softeners would be a good idea. I did learn some cool new things though...like why a baby should just get a gentle once-over kind of bath after delivery instead of having every last drop of amniotic fluid and vernix scrubbed off of them. The amniotic fluid on the baby's hands helps stimulate early breastfeeding...the baby uses the taste and smell of amniotic fluid on their hands to help them find their way to a similar smelling substance at the breast. Check out this cool research:
And then of course there was Hypnobirthing...which to be honest was a bit of a chore. We chose a Hypnobirthing instructor in the Northeast and attended classes in her home on Monday evenings. The private classes were 3 hours long and it was 45 minutes from home so it made for very long Mondays...especially in the dead of winter. We watched videos of hypnobirthing moms deliver their babies at home or in the hospital very easily and without any of the drama I am used to seeing in the hospital. The key to it all was getting yourself into a very relaxed state during labor and allowing your body to do what it was meant to do without allowing fear to take over and tense up all your muscles...thereby making your body work against you. We learned some hypnosis techniques and tricks and listened to the mp3s that came along with the course as we laid in bed. Brian would fall asleep about 30 seconds into the track but our instructor said it was ok because our subconscious minds would still absorb the information while we slept. Brian is still disappointed we didn't get the hypnosis pocket watch he assumed would be part of the class...
But speaking of those hypnosis tracks...the main one was called the "Rainbow Relaxation CD" which is most commonly associated with Hypnobirthing. I've been listening to this several times per week since January and have found it to be pretty relaxing. The track starts out with deep breathing exercises and then visualization of a rainbow. The narrator's soothing voice walks you through the rainbow's mist of every color...explaining how each color is associated with something to do with childbirth (i.e. your mind- to overcome anxiety, your voice- to speak up when you need something, your chest- controlling of breathing, your pelvis- letting your uterine muscle do it's work and relax all the muscles to let the baby move freely).
You're supposed to pick a "birthing color" that resonates with you so that when you are in labor you can think of this color and associate it with the deep hypnotic state you recall from listening to the CD. I kept having trouble picking a color...for some reason this simple idea had me stumped; that is until a couple weeks ago when we discovered Baby G was breech. Then orange suddenly spoke to me: "Your uterus vibrates to the color of orange..." I recall the woman with the British accent on the CD saying...she goes on to talks about how orange is soothing and relaxing and I felt like that was exactly what I needed my uterus to do so that Baby G would have enough room to turn around. There were so many reasons to pick orange. I'd been labeled as having an "irritable uterus" since 23 weeks of pregnancy when Braxton Hicks contractions first plagued me. Brian's favorite color seems to be orange (anyone recall those bright orange kippots from our wedding?). Besides, I've been addicted to oranges pretty much since the day I found out I was pregnant...squeezing fresh OJ has been almost a daily occurrence for me throughout this pregnancy. So the next time I was at the co-op I picked up this little gem-
It smelled heavenly and I thought what a perfect way to build on the "orange" concept and it's relaxing association. So yesterday when my poor irritable uterus kept contracting all day (probably because of that mean doctor trying unsuccessfully to turn Baby G the day before...) I decided to take a nice, hot, relaxing orange scented bath. I climbed in and turned on my hypnosis track. For the first 3 minutes it was pure bliss...and then I started to notice a stinging sensation on my left hip. I scratched the area and it seemed to worsen. That's when I noticed a similar sensation on my right shoulder as well. Weird, I thought. I tried to take some deep breaths and get back into the hypnosis CD...but started feeling the stinging spreading everywhere...back of legs, sides of my abdomen, shoulders...suddenly it occurred to me that I must be allergic to this crap! I jumped out of the tub to see huge bright red splotches ALL OVER MY BODY. But the sight of it (which was pretty bad) wasn't nearly as bad as the intense stinging sensation I felt pretty much from head to toe! I quickly drained the tub and jumped in the shower, determined to scrub every last drop of essential oil off of my body. The water only seemed to intensify the stinging. It reminded me of actually getting stung by jellyfish when Brian and I were on a trip to Nicaragua except this stinging sensation seemed to be lasting a whole lot longer! So much for that relaxing bath! I scrambled to find the number of a massage therapist I had seen a while back...if anyone knows about essential oils it would be her. I called the spa and they consulted with her on what I could do...she said to "remain calm" (sure- that's possible when you feel like you just jumped out of a bath filled with jellyfish!)...she went on to say that it's likely I have an allergy to citrus essential oils. (Hmm, you think?!) She encouraged me to "dry brush" my body (this option was not sounding particularly pleasant in my current state) and maybe take an oatmeal bath. I hung up with her and waited it out. Fortunately the stinging sensation resolved on it's own about 20 minutes later. But the association with panic will probably linger much longer. I guess orange won't be my soothing birth color after all.
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