Dear Abby,

Dear Abby,

It is hard to find the words to describe how amazing it is to be your mom. But I will try.

We went to a holiday party tonight and you pulled yourself up to a standing position all by yourself. You knew this was a big first and you turned to find me. When we locked eyes you started beaming :) and my heart skipped a few beats and my chest filled up so much with happiness that I almost couldn't breathe. It's like our little secret. It's like sharing a knowing glance with an old dear friend from across the room. This is my life now. Celebrating your little firsts with you all day every day and I wouldn't trade it for the world.


Your world is so small and yet so expansive. I love watching you explore your surroundings. Last week you learned how to wave. This week you are waving at all of the pictures in our house. You feel for my hands and pull yourself up dragging me and my poor aching back all around the house. One of your favorite stops is the bathroom...YOUR bathroom where you are inevitably looking for your bath toys but along the way will spot yourself in the mirror and can never resist so much as a smile...

That smile. The one that seemed to take forever to grace your lips but continues to melt my heart every.single.time.

Time. Stands still. And yet flies by. But mostly warps. The days melt into each other and before I know it months have gone by. You were my spring baby and now it is literally in a minute's time the winter solstice. How on earth did that happen?

You happen to be asleep on daddy's side of the bed right now. Your new favorite position is face down on our bed. And only our bed, definitely not your crib. The other night you were sound asleep and I thought I would try you in your crib again. I had just flipped your mattress over to the softer, "toddler" side and even made it with a snuggly chamois sheet from Pottery Barn to further entice you...but as soon as you so much as entered the crib vicinity you started stirring and when I laid you down you popped your bleary tired eyes open and darted them around to assess where you were. You saw the bars and your mobile and a look of sheer terror crossed your face with a wail to match. Your back no sooner touched down that I picked you back up.

"Up, up, up"...you definitely want to be up. From the moment you wake up in the morning -even if daddy and I are both still too tired to get you out of bed- you would much rather be sitting up in bed than laying down. Sitting up, or better yet, standing up is where it's at and that's where you want to be. One of your favorite places is your DJ booth (as Aunt Jul calls it) where you can stand all by yourself and spin the ABCs and the 123s like it's nobody's business.

You are a busy girl. From sunrise to sunset you are on the go. Except for after a bath. That is my favorite time with you these days. After a bath I wrap you in a big towel and carry you into your room. Before laying you down on your changing table (aka torture chamber) to dress you, we snuggle in the glider while you nurse. It doesn't matter if you just ate before your bath you always want to nurse as soon as you are out of the tub. And lately you prefer to nurse sitting up - with some breaks for waving and clapping of the hands of course. You especially like to wave at the turtle picture in your room. And you like to try to bite on the arm rests of the chair (I wish daddy had used some nontoxic nursery paint instead of spray paint!). But you always circle back to nursing. I ask "all done"? And you smack your head back into me to let me know that you most certainly are not.

You are not a fan of being spoon fed. You want that spoon. Even if it is to just grab the contents of it and smear it all over everything in your reach except for your mouth. You will decide and that is that. We've moved on beyond the purees and have been giving you bigger pieces of food. Today you had a latke that 4 people prepared for you...you dipped it in homemade apple sauce and tore it apart,"nom nom nom'ing" it until a thousand little slivers of potato covered you from head to toe.

Those toes. Grandma had to give you another bath but none of us minded that. Nothing better than a half naked baby barreling down the hall towards the bath. Unless of course that half naked baby is mine and happens to be covered in bits of potato and applesauce and holding my hands with sticky fingers with a steady stream of drool dribbling from those precious pink lips that you can't stop smacking as you get used to your 2 tiny new teeth...

As I said: this is my life now and I wouldn't trade it for the world.